If God Had Hired Heather

I sometimes wish god had chosen me to fashion planet Earth, and all the things on it. I would have designed some things differently. I like the blue sky, but I would have made plant life more colorful. I think I would have had different trees with different colored leaves. An oak might have had leaves of orange, for example, while a spruce would have leaves of purple. I would have made some trees that had one color of leaf on the lower branches, and another color leaf on the higher branches. I would have one tree with pitch black leaves.

I think god really showed some creativity when he came up with the concept of fur. If I were god I would have a lot more animals with fur. But many more animals would have a sweet-sounding call. No barking or screeching. A raccoon could sound like a chord played on a harp, an elk might sound like two quick notes strummed on a well-tuned guitar. Wouldn’t that be awesome? I don’t know, maybe it would take some getting used to.

Rain would come in different colors, depending on the temperature. A hailstorm would look like a down pour of beautiful marbles. The storm would still do damage, but at least it would look pretty doing it.

Finally, I’ll call it The Pinocchio Effect”. If I were god, the ears on a human being would swell ever so slightly each time the person was guilty of stealing. The nose would grow just a touch each time the person lied. And the person’s feet would enlarge each time the person cheated. To find out the character of a man or woman all anyone would have to do would be to look at the individual’s ears, nose, and feet. All god came up with was blushing which is seldom a sign of an impropriety. This I know because I’m constantly doing things that make me blush, and I'd never do anything wrong... oh nooo, not me.