Friday, September 14, 2012

Looking Down the Road With an Open Mind



A lot of people are surprised that I don’t have a female roommate. The only time I have had a permanent female roommate in my life was during my brief spell in college. Despite her being a nice person, I wasn’t thrilled with that arrangement. I remember when I was about 16 or 17 years old some older girl once saying, “Single girls have girls for roommates, but single women live on their own.”  I liked that. It sounded very mature and independent. It’s kind of stuck with me. So I opt to live by myself in a tiny little apartment that I can afford.   

My parents worry about me because at 23 I have yet to show any desire to get married, let alone have kids. I have two girlfriends who are already married and are mothers.  I don’t want to rush into those things. I'll give that stuff a lot of thought before I take the leap. I will ask myself; Do I really want to do it, or is it outside pressures driving me? Right now it would be outside pressures, that is, if I heeded them. I went to college because everyone else was. It turned out that I really didn’t want to go. Someday I might go, but I didn’t when I was 18, and I still don’t. Live and learn.

I would love to be in a romantic relationship again, but I enjoy having “me time”. It scares me a little but I think I actually need “me time”. I think that my desire for “me time” keeps me from being too enthusiastic about marriage. And somewhere in the back of my head there is the notion that the Earth is crowded enough without me adding to it with offspring. I don’t think the human species will go extinct because Heather isn’t adding to it.  So, point is, maybe I’m not marriage material, not a traditional marriage anyhow. I’m certainly not traditional marriage material right now. But I try to be open-minded on such things, and one critical aspect of being healthily open-minded is to have the ability to change one’s mind. So, anything could happen.     

I think there are a number of ways to enjoy life. One way is to get married and have a family. I’m sure it’s a very satisfying experience. A person can end their day feeling contented and, for the most part, comforted by a stable relationship. Most people take that type of avenue through life. But another possibility is to seek a little more adventure in life. I’m not talking necessarily about trips to some South Sea island, or going up the Amazon in a canoe. I’m talking about something as simple as having the freedom to travel someplace out of town, just to get a clear view of the sunset, or as complex as trying to find a place in the world as an artist. Of course I can’t paint, but I do love a spectacular sunset.

2 comments:

  1. I've lived with other guys, other women (that I wasn't dating, or just complete strangers) and I'd have to say I also enjoy living alone more so than with someone else. Most other guys are kinda slobs and inconsiderate then women tend to add a little more drama, its hard to be more understanding when you aren't bbfs with them either. Right now I'm living in an apartment with a girl roommate downtown while I'm trying to find a renter for my townhouse in the burbs. I actually hesitate to actually find a renter. My house when I stay on the weekends makes it much easier to visit family. Its just more of a relaxing setting than my apt which feels so cold as its near the loop, I feel like I'm driving deep into a relaxed country side every time I drive home.

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  2. I have a couple of girlfriends who have female roommates. Beyond the fact that it looks like a living arrangement that I simply do not want, both of these girls will complain about their roommates occasionally, and sometimes more often than occasionally.

    Thanks, but no thanks.

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