One Mention of My Ex-Boyfriend

I feel I need to put something in my blog about my ex-boyfriend, so here it is. This is not going to be some sort of angry rant. In fact, it is going to be pretty much the opposite of that. It’s going to be about someone who changed me, and my life. In the end, we couldn’t make it together, and our relationship ended. But I hold no grudges. So I’ll write about this man once, and then, hopefully, I’ll never ever mention him again. 

My ex-boyfriend, Keith, broke up with me in June of last year. We dated for about a year and a half. When we first met I was 20 years old and he was 32. I had never been in a serious relationship. Keith had been previously married for seven years and had a five year-old son. When we met, Keith had been divorced for two years.

Our first meeting was in a local, grocery store parking lot, of all places. To make a long story short, it was a rainy day and my windshield wipers would not work. Keith fixed them by doing something with some electric fuses, and he got rain-soaked in the process. I offered to pay for his trouble but he refused. When he got into his car and drove away I thought I’d never see him again.

A few days later I walked into a small neighborhood restaurant to get a frozen yogurt or something, and there he was, Keith, standing in line in front of me. Of course I still remembered the kindness he had done, and I wasn’t going to let him get away again. I insisted I buy his food, and he relented. We shared a table, and chatted while we ate. Keith was a funny, pleasant guy and though it was obvious that he was somewhat older than me, I found him attractive. Just as we were leaving, Keith asked me if he could call me sometime and of course I said yes.

I remember telling a couple of my girlfriends that I was going on a date with this nice-looking older guy. I stressed older guy. I might have even added that he was a divorced father. I thought those things might make me appear sort of sophisticated and mature, or worldly. I never thought anything would really happen concerning the date. In my mind it was going to be a one time thing, a temporary deviation from guys who were nearer my age. I think in the back of my mind the whole date thing with Keith was just a lark.

I believe I knew almost from the beginning of that first date that I wasn’t going to be looking at it as a lark for long. From the first moments I seemed to make Keith a little younger, and he made me a little older. He did not talk down to me, as though I was too immature for him, and I did not say anything to him implying that he was anything but a young guy, maybe even a hot, young guy. Keith was funny, light-hearted, and thoughtful. It might sound dumb, but he impressed me by not trying to impress me. An hour into that first date I was thinking to myself that I was with a pretty awesome guy. And I know that by the end of the evening we both sensed that there was this chemistry between us.

At least partly because of our age difference, we decided to take it one step at a time. For the first month or so we saw each other only about once or twice a week. After three or four months it became several times a week. I began occasionally staying overnight at his apartment, there were other times when he would stay with me at my little apartment.

We almost never went to clubs or parties. I’m not into doing those things and neither was Keith. He and I would often go out to dinner, usually some place nice, but not extravagant. We would go out to movies, or bowling. Once we went to a golf driving range. On one occasion we took a couple of days and went to a corn festival in the small town of Milton on the other side of the state. Another time we went to a Civil War reenactment, and I enjoyed myself. Who would have thought?

When we were intimate, Keith was very attentive, considerate, patient, and a little bit playful too. And afterwards he would always hold me adoringly. I think that’s all I’ll say about that.

We had been dating for about six months when Keith had to have an emergency appendectomy. I don’t think he was ever really close to dying but the ordeal did make me wonder what my life would be like if he were unexpectedly gone forever. What I imagined was a life suddenly made lonely. That’s when I knew I was in love with him. 

When it was clear that our relationship had grown into a long-term thing, Keith’s family, and his ex-wife, began nagging him about his being with a much younger woman. Once, when I was out of the room, I overheard his mother refer to me several times as “the young girl”. I know his ex-wife teased him about me too. I think all of it finally got to Keith. But even when he broke it off between us, I knew he greatly cared about me. He just didn't feel good about being in the relationship. I think it was just that simple.

I’m sure I still miss Keith even now, but what I miss more than anything is what he brought into my life. He added a whole extra dimension to my world. I know that someday someone new will once again provide me with an extra dimension. It will not be the same dimension I lost, and I wouldn’t want it to be, just an extra one. Someday.