Sweating For a Chimicanga

I think I eat a little too much for my height and frame. I put in too many calories. It’s not just that I eat too much; I eat the wrong things too. Every week I consume a fair quantity of Pizza Rolls, these little bite-sized pizza morsels that come in a bag. I love them. I’ll bet I down two dozen a week. I like microwave burritos and chimichangas too. Two or three evenings a week I will pop some microwave, buttered popcorn and then eat every kernel while watching TV, even the ones that fall to the floor. More often than I care to admit I will buy frozen White Castle cheeseburgers at the grocery store and then eat about three of them for dinner. I microwave them one at a time at 1/3 power for three minutes. For some reason they are not as tasty when microwaved at full power for one minute. I don’t know why. Anyway, I gobble them down with catsup. 

Since I know I eat a lot of questionable foods, I try to offset it with intense exercise. About four times a week I will visit my fitness center where I will do a lot of aerobic work. I used to do mostly elliptical workouts, but in recent months I have gotten into jogging on a treadmill. Sometimes I will start off on an elliptical, go to the treadmill for a ten minute jog, and finish by doing five strong minutes on a stationary bicycle. Those really intense workouts are usually done on Saturdays, following a Friday evening of high calorie food with a glass or two of wine.

This is going to sound crazy, but very few women at my fitness center actually break into a sweat. I think it sounds odd because I equate exercise with sweat, especially for men, but for women too. Many of these women work-out on resistance machines, so there is less perspiration involved. Others will get on a treadmill and walk. I will do a few push-ups and some sit-ups, but I seldom actually do intense resistance exercises. My goal is to burn calories, and burn them quickly.

When I’m on some aerobic exercise equipment, I start feeling warm in about five minutes or so. I can tell that the heart is pumping, the blood is flowing. My face is probably getting flushed. Somewhere around the ten to twelve minute mark I start to perspire a tiny bit. If I am not getting a little dewy at the fifteen minute mark, I figure that I’m not going fast enough. If I get through a half hour workout without my top getting a little damp up around the neck, I was either not trying hard enough, or the fitness center thermostat was set at 60 degrees.

What’s really goofy is that I am basically incredibly lazy and hate to do anything that takes any real effort. To be honest, I’m really not sure how I ever got into the habit of driving to the fitness center four times a week. Maybe I’m not as lazy as I think I am. Or maybe it’s that I really like microwave burritos, and I want to eat them without guilt. Yes, I’m pretty sure that it’s the latter of the two, because I’m definitely lazy.